phoenix ashes
dreams, dormious projectionous potion and red leather (chapter 10)

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Remus looked around at everyone, who had very confused looks on their
faces.. Severus broke the silence first."Why in a hair salon? Why was
Black reading a *girls* magazine? Are you saying we need to have a
change of hairstyle?"Severus said all of this without drawing a
breath.

"It was a dream..."

"How did you know about my crush on......nevermind."Ginny piped up.

"Well, Ginny, you talk in your sleep...I mean, when you fell asleep
on the sofa with your head in Sirius' lap.."Ginny gave him a
look,"Don't worry, Ginny, he was asleep at the time."

Sirius looked at Ginny,"Am I missing something here?"

"Well....Duh!" Remus muttered.

"Who shall we do next?"Ginny asked, trying to get the conversation
back to safer topics.

"Nice try Ginny....I know you're trying to avoid this path of
conversation." Remus said.

"I wouldn't mind a bit of Snuffles on a stick."Sirius said. There was
a long pause and everyone looked at Sirius strangely.Realization hit
Sirius with full force."Oh that's right I AM Snuffles, why would I be
on a stick?"

"Prehaps Lupin thinks you need a good poke."Severus said, deadpan.
(A/N: This is real quote and it's by Snuffles and Beansprout.I think
Beansprout is trying to tell Snuffles something.) Sirius Scowled at
him but didn't say anything.

"Um... Professor how did you know about my...er...crush on Alan
Rickman?" Hermione asked.

"Well seeing as you keep talking about him and that....um...naked
picture you have hanging in your dorm.....Ginny told me.....Where on
Earth did you get that picture from?"

Hermione turned to Ginny,"Traitor, you said you'd never tell..."

"Hermione....I didn't...It slipped out.."Ginny muttered.

"Miss Granger, where did you get a picture of a naked Alan?"Severus
asked.'Oh my God,what was she thinking?'

Hermione blushed,"On the net."

Sirius piped up,"Why in God's name did you print out a picture of him
and post it on your wall?Where did you get the web address from?"

Hermione blushed even more,"Well you see....I did it coz...."

"She fancies the pants off him..."Ginny piped up."Even more than me
fancying...."She broke off blushing.

"Lupin, what is your facination with the school outfit?Do you fancy
Miss Spears by any chance?"Severus interjected smoothly, obviously
wanting to change the subject.'Actually I want to hear this story but
not for the same reason as the others.'

"No,I don't really go for blondes."Remus answered."Anyway don't
change the subject...Where did Hermione get the address from?"

"Yeah, Hermione.What's the address? I need my Alan Rickman
dose..."Lavender piped up, startling everyone.

"Well,I got the address from one of the Slytherins.I had no idea she
liked him as much as me until I saw a picture in her book...I asked
her and she told me the addy."

"And her name was?"

"Ooh I know, remember Professor? When the potion exploded? She said
about Alan Rickman and THAT picture...And you told her that he
was....."Ginny broke off as Severus gave her a glare."Oh my GOD! No
wonder! Holy crap!Wowsers! Holy Shatner!""

"No wonder what?"Hermione asked, and found she was echoed by all the
girls in the classroom.

"I'll thank Miss Kirk for teaching you those sayings, Miss Weasley,
and be careful about what you blurt out or I might tell them about
what you told me..."Severus said in a low voice so only Ginny,
Hermione,Sirius and Remus could hear.

"Well it's no secret now...They all know now."

"No not that one....The other one...I'm sure if you blurt out what
Miss Kirk told you or what else I said, we might take a leaf out of
Alan's book and cut your heart out with a spoon."Severus threatened.

"What other thing?"Remus asked.

"Yeah what have you been saying, Ginny?"

"No wonder what?What has she been telling you? What did you tell her?
What has Jade been saying?"Hermione burst out without pausing for
breath.

"Ah ha so it was Jade."Lavender exclaimed."I'll have to ask her the
website."

"What's going on?"Ron asked looking confused.

"Nothing Ron."Ginny said,to Lavender she said,"Think she'll give it
to you? She might be also posting pics of...I'm shutting up now..."

"That would be wise."Severus muttered.

"At the risk of repeating myself,no wonder what?What has she been
telling you? What did you tell her?What has Jade been
saying?"Hermione asked.