phoenix ashes
dreams, dormious projectionous potion and red leather (chapter 9)



 **Remus' Dream**

(A hairdressing salon.Sirius, Severus and Remus are sitting in chairs
next to each other. Sirius has curlers in his hair and is reading a
woman's magazine, Remus is getting his hair wet cut by Ginny and
Severus is having his hair washed by Hermione.Hermione and Ginny are
wearing schoolgirl outfits.(Think Britney in her 'Baby,One More Time'
video)and their hair is in pigtails.)

Severus(pratically purring): Mmmm Keep doing that. I like that.

Sirius(looking up from his magazine): Don't mind him, he's very
sensitive there...Kinda like a big cat..

(looks back down and turns the page)Whoa!(His eyes grow as big as

Remus: What is it Snufffles?

Sirius: A naked picture of Jason Isaacs..Well almost naked..

Hermione(leans forward): Where? Ooh let me see.

Ginny: Yeah I fantisize about him.....

(Severus sits up suddenly,his wet hair spraying Hermione's front.)

Severus, Sirius and Remus: That was WAY to much info.

Hermione: It's the voice...

Remus: Ha, next thing you'll be telling me you fancy Severus'
brothers, which everyone tickles your fancy....

Severus: We're identical in every way...(Lies back and relaxes)Go on
please me..(Hermione continues to wash his hair.)

Sirius(singing along to radio as he's reading his magazine):Candy on
the beach there's nothing better,but I like candy when it's wrapped
up in leather,Someday soon I'll make you mine, Then I'll have candy
all the time.

Remus: I love this song.....I must've fallen asleep with the radio on

Sirius: Want to dance?Ginny?

Ginny: Only if we're horizontal...

Sirius: I totally heard that.

(Remus and Severus look at each other and roll their eyes.)

Remus(quietly,to Severus): It's obvious they fancy each other. Why
don't they get married?

Severus: Or at least shag on the carpet..

Remus(to Ginny,Re: Sirius): He fancies you.(Re: Hair)..Don't cut my
hair too short...I don't want to look like Hans Gruber from Die Hard.
He's a bad boy..

Severus: Don't insult 'The Voice' AKA Alan Rickman...

Hermione: Wrapped in leather...

Ginny: Wearing nothing but a big red bow...

Remus: And, judging by those photos on the net, a big boy...

Sirius: Been at those slash fics again, Remus?Or was it the het ones.
(Re: Magazine)Ooh there's Alan Rickman in here too..(Ginny and
Hermione both look over his shoulder at the picture and start
drooling)So who would you go for?

Ginny: The Voice.

Hermione: The Sex God, who should be cloned.....

Severus: Like I said, Identical in every way...

Remus: Both...I'm not fussed....(Severus, Sirius, Ginny and Hermione
give Remus a look)as long as it's well written...

Hermione: Ok Severus, you're done.(wraps towel round his head and
guides him to a chair in front of a mirror, dries his hair slightly)
How short do you want it?(She starts combing his hair through to get
rid of any knots) Well?

Severus: Short, I think.(indicates how short he wants it) to about

(Hermione starts cutting his hair)

Sirius: J-Lo so wants me...Good she broke up with Ben Affleck..

Remus: Are you sure?

Ginny(finished Remus' hair): Ok, how's that?

(Ginny hands Remus a mirror)

Remus(Closely examining his new do): I like it...

Hermione(Re: Severus' hair): God, your hair is so soft...Like a big

Remus: If you scratch him behind the ears he purrs too.

(Hermione scratches Severus behind the ears and he purrs.)

Ginny: Would you like a colour too Remus?

Remus: Sure why not? I think I'll go blond...

(Ginny starts colouring his hair)

Hermione(Having finished cutting Severus' hair): There you go all done
(Hands him a mirror)My god you look even more like Alan Rickman now...
(She starts blow drying his hair)

Severus: Identical in every way...

(Severus starts pretending to be Alan Rickman to the mirror)

Severus:....Cut out your heart with a spoon...

(Ginny has finished bleaching Remus' hair)

Remus: Cool I look about 20 years younger...

(Hermione has finished blow drying Severus' hair and it has gone a
nice shade of light brown, with red and blond streaks in it.)

Sirius and Remus: Nice hair.

Remus: Didn't you have that colour when you first came to Hogwart?

Sirius: Yeah and he changed his hair colour every year....

Severus: Until my horrible brother hexed my hair in my forth year.

Hermione(goes over to Sirius and takes out his curlers): Ah don't you
look cute? Look Ginny.... It's Snuffles on a stick..

Ginny(takes one look at Sirius and pounces on him.): Come to me...

(Remus' girlfriend comes out of the shadows, wearing an outfit
indentical to Christina Aguilera in her 'Dirrty' video and wearing a
scarf around the lower part of her face.)

Remus(to his girlfriend): Hi, what do you think?

Remus' girlfriend pounces on Remus, without saying a word)

**End Remus' Dream**